The Murder of Renee Good

Watching the video of Renee Good’s murder is essential viewing in America today. It’s a prerequisite if you deign to defend ICE. And, if you don’t defend ICE, congratulations! You have a conscience.

I have many thoughts about the tragedy, the political implications, the hypocrisy of our “leaders,” and about how I would absolutely love to throw snowballs at ICE agents, but today, I have one reaction. It’s a reaction I have had since the footage dropped. What would an autistic person do in the situation Good found herself in? The answer is easy, they would have likely done the same exact thing. They would have attempted to drive away, turning away from the officer, just like Good did.

You see, anxiety often goes hand in hand with autism. An autistic person can go from calm to high strung faster than any of us neurotypicals. They often do not navigate social situations very smoothly, especially situations that would be already stressful to a neurotypical human. Good found herself in such a situation and I found myself imagining my daughter in the same situation, even though she is only 11 years old. But I was picturing her off somewhere, years from now, living on her own, driving through a neighborhood like Good’s when she becomes entangled in some gestapo ICE-led shakedown. With loud commands coming at her from every direction telling her to stop, telling her to move along, and telling her to back up, she would almost certainly flee from the confusion, the chaos, and the noise. And, what would she get for it? Well, you know how this ends in Trump’s America.

Renee Good’s reaction to the chaos is my daughter’s reaction, simply an attempt to get away from it all. It was harmless to the ICE officer, but DHS (like you can trust anything they say) reports that the officer had internal bleeding from this interaction. Dutifully, Fox News has the report, in their constant attempt to paint Good as a terrorist and J6ers as patriots.

I just keep thinking about how the current situation in Minneapolis and wherever ICE invades next is at the boiling point, absolutely primed for another event like we have already seen. If ICE approaches everyone as if they are guilty, then of course they will encounter more people who run away, drive away, and get away any way possible. Those people who run first from ICE just might have an extra dose of anxiety in them, a few more drops of confusion in social situations, but no ill intent, no hatred. Just kindness.

Good’s voice, seconds before her murder, is full of kindness, “That’s fine, dude. I’m not mad at you.” No derangement. No madness. No anger. Just patience and peace.

A Constant Struggle

“The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.” – George Orwell, 1984

In the aftermath of ICE murdering a woman in Minneapolis today, this quote from Orwell’s classic filled up social media feeds, and rightfully so. Like many people, I have seen all the presently available videos of this incident multiple times. From every angle, the woman driving the car, Renee Nicole Good, 37, steers her Honda Pilot away from the officer (a stretch to call him that), to the right, to be precise. If she had decided to weaponize her car, like Kristi Noem and POTUS, implied she had, she would have swerved left or, at any point yesterday, attempted to drive over an officer.

Multiple outlets have taken ICE and POTUS at their word, reporting that the ICE officer who fired a shot into Good’s head was injured during the incident. I keep looking at the video, trying to figure out where this poor guy was injured. It looks like it could have been a hand dinged by the quarter panel or side mirror or a foot run over as she turned away from him. Either way, it is impossible to imagine a scenario in which this agent feared for his life or thought that a kill shot was necessary.

When I hear about an officer involved shooting, I actually give the officer the benefit of the doubt, waiting for a video of the incident to be released. What you frequently see in those videos is a person running at police (sometimes with a weapon, sometimes without), or they’re reaching into their car after being told to present their hands, or they’re reaching into a coat pocket or some other area where a weapon could be stored, or they’re resisting arrest by wrestling with an officer. More often than not, the person in question is doing something that, in the far reaches of an officer’s imagination or perspective, can be interpreted as life-threatening or dangerous. I’m trying to let my imagination run wild here, but I’m failing, I did not see that in Minneapolis. I see an officer clear enough of the car to have both hands on the gun and fire through the windshield once and into the driver’s side window another time. I see a potential injury no worse than getting hit point blank with a Nerf dart from one of my son’s toys. After all, the officer who murdered Good, felt fine enough to jog down to Good’s car, after she had crashed, to “check” on her.

This incident, and the administration’s attempt at telling you that your own eyes and ears are lying to you, comes right in the wake of them telling you that something you watched on live television on January 6, 2021, was a peaceful demonstration and perfectly okay to do, apparently. I mean, check out this official White House site about January 6, 2021. It’s absolutely bonkers. Orwell himself would be floored by the propaganda.

I leave you with another Orwell quote, highlighting the difficulty of facing obvious truths and facts in the face of government and political subterfuge:

“To see what is in front of one’s nose needs a constant struggle.”

Yep, It’s As Bad As I Feared

I wrote the following on November 6, 2024, after Trump was elected the 47th POTUS.

These are my gut reactions, overreactions, and, in italics, what I now think about what I wrote then.

Honestly, I’m not sure how any dad with a daughter could cast a vote for him. Pretty much, still feel this way. Sorry, not sorry. I don’t know what else to tell you.

Trump voters just voted to give Ukraine to Russia. Untold thousands will now die in that war because of what Trump won’t do. Well, perhaps an overreaction here, that is if Ukraine does remain a sovereign country through this scam of a negotiation process, which, so far, has excluded Ukraine. We always knew Trump liked and respected Putin, but what Trump did this week behind Ukraine’s back was worse than I thought. I sort of saw US support for Ukraine completely drying up, the war continuing, and Russia eventually grinding down what’s left of Ukrainian armed forces. Russia gains complete control over Ukraine. The end.

Some of my worst fears now: a countrywide law banning abortion beyond 6-12 weeks, Vance running and winning in 2028, the climate and Earth not having any sort of advocate anymore in any branch of our government, the way women are thought about and treated in this country getting worse, worry for minorities, corporations getting even bigger tax breaks, including the top 5% income earners. As for the nationwide abortion ban, I am not ruling it out. Vance running in 2028 is a strong possibility. I feel the same about the future of women and minorities under this administration. It’s abundantly clear, more than I thought possible on Nov 6, that corporations are going to rule this administration, more accurately, their CEOs. As for tax breaks, we are already living under Trump tax breaks, which were passed in 2017. I suspect he wants further tax breaks for his super wealthy friends. As for everyone else, he doesn’t care.

You can praise Hitler and get elected. Still in strong agreement here. It’s worse than we could have imagined. Elon did the Nazi salute and there was no uproar. Only morons argued that he was trying to show that his heart goes out to his supporters.

History made, first convicted felon elected to the Office of the President. Accurate.

Trump has a lot of trust in our election infrastructure when he wins. Same.

I fear that Trump will be very successful in increasing the power of the executive and limiting the checks and balances the other branches of the government supposedly have on executive power. This has also been way worse than I could have imagined. There is no one in power making a great fuss like I would expect. I’ve been very disappointed in the Democrats response to the first month of Trump’s term.

I am sad for London and Kate. So many women out there did not vote for Harris because they think a woman can’t handle the job. Yep, still true.

I heard people say they liked Trump more because they got stimulus checks in the mail during his first term. Enough said. These are not critical thinkers.

A Little Remorse

I am just one of many Harris voters who know people who voted for Trump. They are in my family. They are friends. Some of them are acquaintances. I know people who abstained from voting because they could not bring themselves to vote for any presidential candidate. Odds are, if you voted for Harris, you know these people too and, there is a very good chance, you find yourself completely dismayed at the absolute silence from this crowd, like I do.

Not a peep from anyone about this gem from yesterday: Federal cuts to the World Trade Center Health Program have resulted in a 23% reduction in the agency’s staffing and could put 9/11 survivors at risk, critics said Tuesday. New York Sens. Chuck Schumer and Kirsten Gillibrand have already reached out to Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr., demanding the “insulting” and “un-American” cuts to the program be rescinded.

The people who have done this have made a living off of, and risen to power on, calling anyone who does not support them or their views un-American. Yet, this is maybe the most un-American thing I have seen in the news this week and, if you haven’t been paying attention, there have been a lot of un-American blockbusters lately.

How about this one: Trump claims Ukraine started the war with Russia. Do my family members who follow Trump on Instagram or who think Tucker Carlson is a journalist recognize how dangerous appeasing Putin is? I grew up in an America in which people did not aspire to be Neville Chamberlain. If you have to look that name up, you’re part of the problem.

As far as I know, Trump supporters in my life enjoy the outdoors, including our National Parks, but their support of him has directly led to extreme staffing shortages at nearly all parks and monuments. Already, hours of visitor centers and other outposts within parks have had to limit their hours of operation. To be fair, many parks faced a staffing shortage before Trump took office the second time around, but now, things are about to get much worse… “The only locksmith at Yosemite National Park in California, the sole EMT ranger at neighboring Devils Postpile National Monument, an experienced sled dog musher in Alaska’s Denali National Park. These are just a few of the several thousand national parks and forests employees abruptly terminated last week by the Trump administration, in what some are calling the “Valentine’s Day massacre.” You better head to a park soon. Otherwise, no one can tell you for sure if they will be open this summer or even have enough staff to welcome visitors.

I have been sharing my outrage on social media almost every day since Trump was elected. I have dozens of friends who have lost their jobs or are expecting an email at any time of day to let them know they have been fired.

Yet, not one word of regret. Not one public expression of worry for democracy, federal employees (their families, livelihoods, health insurance), air travel safety, a prepubescent Elon disciple fiddling with your SSN or bank account numbers, or the rampant McCarthyism spreading into every corner of our government.

A friend told me, “I want the people I know who voted for him to admit they made a mistake, but they’re watching a news station [Fox News] that consistently tells them they’re winning.”

I so want this too. Even if it’s not regret. I would take, I voted for him, but now I am really concerned about this or that…. That would be so refreshing to hear. Show us you care. Show us hesitancy.

But we all want to be right all the time. We hate to swallow our pride and admit a mistake. Like we can’t be against something until it directly bites us in the ass. That is how Trump supporters are, I guess, forging ahead. I mean, that, plus cognitive dissonance and the Fox News IV drip.

Rising above the din of American democracy and institutions crumbling is the loudest sound of all, the silence of those who are watching it all burn down.

Soft Power and USAID’s Strength

Soft power in international relations and diplomacy, as I understand it, is a power (or tactic, if you will) that is utilized by global powers, in the US’s case, superpower, to gain favor with a great number of countries around the world that the US, quite possibly, would otherwise have little to no interaction with. Favor is gained through attractive measures (not coercion) such as targeting a program or initiative in that foreign country that the US would like to assist. In theory, this program aligns with traditional American principles on the world stage; bringing a democratic political process to countries without it; protecting the rights of all people regardless of age, sex, race, or sexual orientation; an elimination or drastic decrease of diseases via vaccines or simple mosquito nets; maternal health in poverty-stricken or war-torn countries; or sharing best practices when it comes to environmental protection or conservation. That is to name just a few of the just causes the US has pursued since the founding of USAID in 1961 by then President Kennedy.

Prior to USAID, the idea of international development assistance was proposed by President Harry S. Truman, with the initial goals of, “Creating markets for the United States by reducing poverty and increasing production in developing countries.” And, “Diminishing the threat of communism by helping countries prosper under capitalism.” In decades since, USAID shifted to prioritize a wide variety of areas from population planning, education, to stabilizing currencies and financial systems, and ending extreme poverty.

It is from our international cooperation with countries receiving USAID packages that the US has built a vast array of allies throughout the globe. Countries, and other populations helped, recognize the US as a friend and, rightfully, have come to believe that we are interested in building up other nations, no matter where they are on the map. Up until two weeks ago, we have aided many nations with significant undertakings as well as countries with minor projects and initiatives.

The bond between America and these foreign partners is decades old and its strength invaluable to our stance as a global superpower. Other nations vying for global prominence, or dominance, have limited opportunity for advancement with the governments and people USAID has worked with for decades. The importance of a foreign country’s loyalty and trust in the US cannot be emphasized enough. This is soft power. Far cheaper and safer than hard power. And, many would argue, more effective.

Desperate as these populations are, when USAID, its employees, and its funding disappear in a week, they will naturally turn to other powers for myriad reasons. Standing at the ready, China and Russia, eager to fill the power vacuum and more than happy to take the place of the United States, will offer aid in their own way. It may not be the way the US was helping, but it will be enough for us to lose our status. Friendships will weaken, or worse, disappear. Protected environments will flounder and be drained of their resources. And when one of these countries has an emergency, someone will pick up the phone and dial China because right now Trump, his voters, and the Republican party aren’t answering the call from the weary, from the burdened, or from the poor. How much damage will be done remains to be seen. As a friend recently told me, this is “the start of a huge crack in all that is good.”

The Fork In The Road – Edited for Clarity

During the first week of his administration, President Trump issued a number of directives concerning the federal workforce. Among those directives, the President required that employees return to in-person work, restored accountability LOYALTY for employees who have policy-making authority, restored accountability for senior career executives, and reformed WHITEWASHED the federal hiring process to focus on merit NEPOTISM. As a result of the above orders, the reform of the federal workforce will be significant.

The reformed federal workforce will be built around four pillars:

  1. Return to Office: The substantial majority of federal employees who have been working remotely since Covid will be required to return to their physical offices…
  2. Performance Culture: The federal workforce should be comprised of the best America has to offer. We will insist on excellence LOYALTY at every level – our performance standards will be updated to reward and promote those that exceed expectations SERVITUDE and address in a fair PREJUDICE and open OPAQUE way those who do not meet the high standards which the taxpayers of this country have a right to demand BEND THE KNEE.
  3. More streamlined and flexible workforce: While a few agencies and even branches of the military are likely to see increases (BECAUSE SOME OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS PROFIT FROM WAR) in the size of their workforce, the majority of federal agencies are likely to be downsized through restructurings, realignments, and reductions in force. These actions are likely to WILL include the use of furloughs and the reclassification to at-will (MEANING WE CAN FIRE YOUR ASS AT ANY MOMENT) status for a substantial number of federal employees.
  4. Enhanced standards of conduct: The federal workforce should be comprised of employees who are reliable, loyal (THEY ACTUALLY PUT LOYAL IN, NOT MY EDIT), trustworthy, and who strive for excellence FOLLOWING ORDERS in their daily work. Employees will be subject to enhanced standards of suitability LOYALTY and conduct as we move forward. Employees who engage in unlawful behavior FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION or other misconduct will be prioritized for appropriate investigation JAIL TIME and discipline, including termination LOSS OF FINGERNAILS.

Each of the pillars outlined above will be pursued in accordance with applicable law (AS BEST WE UNDERSTAND THOSE PESKY LAWS), consistent with your agency’s policies, and to the extent permitted under relevant collective-bargaining agreements.

If you choose to remain in your current position, we thank you for your renewed focus LOYALTY TO THE PRESIDENT EVEN THOUGH FEDERAL EMPLOYEES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE LOYAL TO THE CONSTITUTION… we look forward to working together as part of an improved WHITER, BLANDER, DUMBER, federal workforce. At this time, we cannot give you full assurance regarding the certainty of your position or agency but should your position be eliminated you will be treated with dignity AS WE QUICKLY REBRAND YOUR OFFICE AND ELIMINATE YOUR CAREER ACCOMPLISHMENTS. (DOGE NEEDS THE LIVING SPACE).

If you choose not to continue in your current role in the federal workforce, we thank you for your service to your country and you will be provided with a dignified FUCKED OVER…utilizing a deferred resignation program…

Whichever path you choose, we thank you for your service to The United States of America, BUT IT’S A NEW WORLD NOW. THE CONSTITUTION IS OUT. THERE IS ONE BRANCH OF GOVERNMENT. SERVE ACCORDINGLY.

The Fork In The Road Email

Just in case you have not read the now infamous email sent to federal employees over a week ago I have included it in this post. As a reminder, Elon Musk sent an email to Twitter employees in 2022 similarly titled. Ultimately, he fired 80% of Twitter employees. The email to federal employees reads as follows:

(No Salutation)

During the first week of his administration, President Trump issued a number of directives concerning the federal workforce. Among those directives, the President required that employees return to in-person work, restored accountability for employees who have policy-making authority, restored accountability for senior career executives, and reformed the federal hiring process to focus on merit. As a result of the above orders, the reform of the federal workforce will be significant.

The reformed federal workforce will be built around four pillars:

  1. Return to Office: The substantial majority of federal employees who have been working remotely since Covid will be required to return to their physical offices five days a week. Going forward, we also expect our physical offices to undergo meaningful consolidation and divestitures, potentially resulting in physical office relocations for a number of federal workers.
  2. Performance Culture: The federal workforce should be comprised of the best America has to offer. We will insist on excellence at every level – our performance standards will be updated to reward and promote those that exceed expectations and address in a fair and open way those who do not meet the high standards which the taxpayers of this country have a right to demand.
  3. More streamlined and flexible workforce: While a few agencies and even branches of the military are likely to see increases in the size of their workforce, the majority of federal agencies are likely to be downsized through restructurings, realignments, and reductions in force. These actions are likely to include the use of furloughs and the reclassification to at-will status for a substantial number of federal employees.
  4. Enhanced standards of conduct: The federal workforce should be comprised of employees who are reliable, loyal, trustworthy, and who strive for excellence in their daily work. Employees will be subject to enhanced standards of suitability and conduct as we move forward. Employees who engage in unlawful behavior or other misconduct will be prioritized for appropriate investigation and discipline, including termination.

Each of the pillars outlined above will be pursued in accordance with applicable law, consistent with your agency’s policies, and to the extent permitted under relevant collective-bargaining agreements.

If you choose to remain in your current position, we thank you for your renewed focus on serving American people to the best of your abilities and look forward to working together as part of an improved federal workforce. At this time, we cannot give you full assurance regarding the certainty of your position or agency but should your position be eliminated you will be treated with dignity and will be afforded the protections in place for such positions.

If you choose not to continue in your current role in the federal workforce, we thank you for your service to your country and you will be provided with a dignified, fair departure from the federal government utilizing a deferred resignation program. This program begins effective January 28 and is available to all federal employees until February 6. If you resign under this program, you will retain all pay and benefits regardless of your daily workload and will be exempted from all applicable in-person work requirements until September 30, 2025 (or earlier if you choose to accelerate your resignation for any reason). The details of this separation plan can be found below.

Whichever path you choose, we thank you for your service to The United States of America.

******************************************************

Upon review of the below deferred resignation letter, if you wish to resign:

  1. Select “Reply” to this email. You must reply from your government account. A reply from an account other than your government account will not be accepted.
  2. Type the word “Resign” into the body of this replay email. Hit “Send”.

THE LAST DAY TO ACCEPT THE DEFERRED RESIGNATION PROGRAM IS FEBRUARY 6, 2025.

Deferred resignation is available to all full-time federal employees except for military personnel of the armed forces, employees of the U.S. Postal Service, those in positions related to immigration enforcement and national security, and those in any other positions specifically excluded by your employing agency.

DEFERRED RESIGNATION LETTER

January 28, 2025

Please accept this letter as my formal resignation from employment with my employing agency, effective September 30, 2025. I understand that I have the right to accelerate, but not extend, my resignation date if I wish to take advantage of the deferred resignation program. I also understand that if I am (or become) eligible for early or normal retirement before my resignation date, that I retain the right to elect early or normal retirement (once eligible) at any point prior to my resignation date.

Given my impending resignation, I understand I will be exempt from any “Return to Office” requirements pursuant to recent directives and that I will maintain my current compensation and retain all existing benefits (including but not limited to retirement accruals) until my final resignation date.

I am certain of my decision to resign and my choice to resign is fully voluntary. I understand my employing agency will likely make adjustments in response to my resignation including moving, eliminating, consolidating, reassigning my position and tasks, reducing my official duties, and/or placing me on paid administrative leave until my resignation date.

I am committed to ensuring a smooth transition during my remaining time at my employing agency. Accordingly, I will assist my employing agency with completing reasonable and customary tasks and processes to facilitate my departure.

I understand that my acceptance of this offer will be sent to the Office of Personnel Management (“OPM”) which will then share it with my agency employer. I hereby consent to OPM receiving, reviewing, and forwarding my acceptance.

*********************************************************************************************************

*************

Upon submission of your resignation, you will receive a confirmation email acknowledging receipt of your email. Any replies to this email shall be for the exclusive use of accepting the deferred resignation letter. Any other replies to this email will not be reviewed, forwarded, or retained other than as required by applicable federal records laws.

Once your resignation is validly sent and received, the human resources department of your employing agency will contact you to complete additional documentation, if any.

END OF EMAIL.

I will post again next week and include my comments to several of these disturbingly-worded sentences. Have a good weekend.

A Drive Up Dayton

As I drive Dayton Street north to take my kids to school the city boundaries are so zig-zagged that I may be in Denver one block and in Aurora the next, never really quite knowing which city I am in from the moment I turn onto the street until I turn off of it in the Central Park neighborhood of Denver.

My house borders Dayton in southeast Denver, so I start the drive there, but I am quickly surrounded by the western edge of Aurora, the city that Trump claims has been taken over by a Venezuelan gang. I even drive within one block of the Edge at Lowry apartments, which made national headlines in the late summer/early fall when a ring doorbell camera recorded armed gang members knocking on an apartment door. Further north I drive by Vintage Theater, a staple among theater venues in the greater Denver area.

When Dayton approaches and crosses Colfax is when things get interesting. Colfax is bustling any time of day, but in the morning it’s full of pedestrians and bus riders going to and from school and work. There doesn’t seem to be much rhyme or reason to how pedestrians cross the street here or how drivers navigate the madness.

Once north of Colfax, Dayton is lined with day laborers who have congregated there for over two decades. They line the sidewalks with their lunches (if they are lucky enough to have them) and wave at any car that drives by, hoping the driver is looking to hire them for a project. When they wave at me, I don’t wave back, out of not wanting to give them some false hope. When a car does pull over though, it is surrounded and overwhelmed by people willing to work on just about any project I imagine. Regardless of the weather or time of year, Dayton Street from Colfax to 16th Ave is lined with those willing to work. I have seen a hundred workers on this block of Dayton.

Naturally, I have been interested in how Trump’s policies would affect this block of Dayton, especially since it is in Aurora and Trump stated that immigration raids would start in this city. Well, he’s a bit late, so he lied again, but they did start yesterday. Even prior to the raids, the number of day laborers drastically decreased. This morning, I counted five of them on the street, still friendly, still waving, still eager to do the work no one else is going to do.

Where have the rest gone? Well, that is a good question and I think in the days, weeks, and months ahead we might get answers or we might not, but for starters here is a fact (remember those?): based on the promised mass deportation, “Gross domestic product (GDP) would be reduced by 1.4 percent in the first year, and cumulative GDP would be reduced by $4.7 trillion over 10 years.” It is not a stretch to conclude either that day laborers who used to get regular work by lining the sidewalks of Dayton have been forced into a cat and mouse game with ICE agents, in which the immigrants might become more and more desperate to make a living here in Aurora or Denver. Surely, that will be the case for some immigrants. Where do they look for work now? Pushing them off the streets into the dark recesses of an Aurora apartment complex for the entire day can’t be good. They are looking for decent pay and constructive work in the daytime. When forced onto the streets at nighttime, the same might not be said. This would be a very unfortunate result of ICE raids here in Denver and elsewhere, but do keep in mind this is a population that respects the rule of law here in the US more than US-born Americans. So, they have that going for them, even though the strongest and most capable government in the world is not willing to help them anymore.

287 On My Mind

The fall of my freshman year, 5 days after 9/11, 8 cross country athletes died on 287 when they were hit by another UW student heading in the opposite direction. The deadliest crash in the highway’s history was an enormous event and terribly sad, especially for the UW community, the cross country athletes, and their families. However, on campus and in the news it got lost in that post-9/11 daze the entire country was in. The mourning of the two events blended into each other in what was the worst September any of us alive at the time had experienced.

Highway 287 between Laramie, Wyoming and Fort Collins, Colorado holds a special place in the heart of all UW students. It’s the quickest link between the two cities, with the other option being I-80 east to Cheyenne and then I-25 south to Fort Collins, at least a full thirty minutes longer. When a UW student wants to get away quickly it’s always 287. I am not sure there is a UW student who has ever avoided driving on or being driven on the highway. 287 is a right of passage, although a very risky one, for Cowboys and Cowgirls since the highway opened.

Upon arrival at UW, students learn one way or another that 287 is one of the most dangerous roads in America. Couple that with the fact that many of the drivers on it are college students feeling free and invincible and you get reckless, distracted, daredevil-like driving. I pushed my car to 100mph several times on that road merely because there were miles of empty road ahead of me. I too loaded into a car with other swimmers and was recklessly driven on that road by a crazy Swede senior on our team. I was not aware then as I am now just how many bullets I dodged on that road.

But the highway struck again last week. This time it was the swim and dive team who suffered the greatest loss. Three athletes died when their car swerved, lost control, and rolled several times. It’s been 23 years since a deadlier accident involving student-athletes happened on that highway so I am thinking about it much differently than last time. Even though the lives lost were swimmers, I find myself dwelling again and again on the parents of those athletes receiving that news, their greatest fear. I marveled at how the UWYO Women’s Swim and Dive team competed at their conference championship last week in the middle of this tragedy. I anticipate having the same feeling this week as the Men’s Swim and Dive team start their conference championship meet today in Texas.

My heart breaks for the team and the families involved. I know they will continue to defy the odds and rise up in the face of such loss. Once a Cowboy, always a Cowboy.

Las Vegas

In the wake of another mass shooting I am still trying to process my thoughts and, perhaps, eventually get them down on paper. In the meantime, I am going to share a few things about the shooting and about gun control that I have come across on the internet and Twitter in the days since America’s latest national embarrassment. I do not necessarily agree with everything below, but I certainly found the statements and articles thought-provoking regardless of whether I outright agree with the content or opinions expressed.

First of all, this, from an email sent out by my church: How long, how long, how long will we ignore God’s call?

This Vox article is excellent. It is very informative and the author does an excellent job in sourcing statistics. “The research is clear: gun control saves lives.

The in-depth study referenced multiple times in the Vox article can be found here if you missed the link in the article.

Repeal the Second Amendment? This guy suggests it in the NY Times.

Lastly, a collection of tweets, which I will leave uncensored:

“i mean i fucking love pizza but if pizza violently killed 30,000 people a year i’d be like okay maybe none of us should have pizza.” – @DaveKingThing

“Who cares if Kim Jong-un gets a nuke? Nukes don’t kill people, PEOPLE kill people. …see how fucking stupid that sounds?” – @BCunningham215

“One shoe bomber tried to blow up a plane and now we take off our shoes. 1518 mass shootings since Sandy Hook and Congress has done NOTHING.” – @MichaelSkolnik

“The GOP insists that the Vegas shooter’s gun arsenal is “a right,” but medical treatment for his 500+ survivors is merely “a privilege.” – @thedesirina

…And

“For whites, ‘it’s just something that happened [or happens, or is the price of freedom according to O’Reilly].’ When it’s of another race, ‘this is how they are,’ and there are calls for law and order.” – Criminal justice professor @ Texas State University

The Truth Is Out There

Staying informed these days feels like a full-time job. After one month of Trump, I was convinced it had been 100 days. Thank God for journalists and truth-seekers. When you hear someone say, “How do you know what’s real or not these days?” give them some tips. If you read something that appears false, try to find the same story elsewhere. Search for sources. If Trump gives you a list of media companies, tweeting that they are the enemy of the American people, try getting your news from them or all of them. He only dislikes them because they factcheck him. The truth is out there. It’s not hard to find, at least not now while we still have a free, independent press.

If you aren’t subscribed to some newspaper or legitimate online news source right now, I ask, what in the hell are you thinking?

As he so often does, Andrew Sullivan is providing an interesting take in his weekly posts at NY Mag’s Daily Intelligencer. Here’s something from nearly two weeks ago. It feels like two months ago.

Their [Putin and Trump] domestic politics also have disturbing parallels. Trump would love nothing more, it seems to me, than to be an American Putin, treating the country as he long treated his own corporate fiefdom. He once explained he admired the autocrat because Putin has “great control over his country.” Like Putin, Trump would love to control the media. Like Putin, he has developed a leadership cult, devoted to the masses. Like Putin, he believes in a government that has “killers.” Like Putin, he threatens his geographic neighbors. Like Putin, he has cultivated an alliance of convenience with reactionary religious conservatives, to shore up his power. Like Putin, he believes there’s no moral difference between American democracy and Russia’s. Like Putin, he is enriching himself by public office. And, like Putin, he has targeted a minority as a scapegoat — Putin targeted the gays to gin up support while Trump targets the Muslims and Mexicans. And as Putin has RT as his conduit, so Trump has the Murdoch empire.

Pass the Mic

Yep, this produced a tear or two.

A Vote For Decency

For the last three election cycles I have heard, “This is the most important election in modern history.” The first two times I did not believe it. If anything, in 2008 and 2012, it was political hyperbole from both major political parties, expressing fear of their opponent winning and desperately trying to spread that fear among on-the-fence voters, hoping they would agree and fall in line.

This time around, I believe this is the most important election since I have been voting. (I am 33.) It has come down to the most unpopular nominees since polling began, Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. One nominee, from a political powerhouse, the Clintons,  wildly adored, untrusted, and loathed by huge swaths of American voters. The reasons for which I will not get into because there is nothing I can add to the discussion to persuade you one way or another and the other reasons were fomented in the editorial room of Breitbart (which is now, figuratively, the same thing as Trump HQ) or in the dark, hideous pulse of a Trump rally.

The Clintons are indeed measured, calculating politicians. This election cycle, when Hillary stands up against a know-nothing, fascist sociopath, her deserved or undeserved labels pale in comparison to Trump. She is at least sane. And that is what this election has come down to. Sanity.

In 2016, a vote for Trump or, just as bad, an abstention, is a vote for insanity. It is a vote for a person who is “characterized by a disregard for the feelings of others, unchecked egocentricity, and the ability to lie in order to achieve one’s goals.” It is a vote for a need for stimulation, a need to live on the knife’s edge of nuclear warfare. It is a vote for conspiracy theories. It is a vote for having no concern about wrecking others’ lives and dreams en masse. It is a vote to affirm the idea that since you have spent the last four years watching cable news or reading jingoistic slop disguised as fact you know as much about international relations or economic policy as someone with advanced degrees in such fields, or as much as a former Secretary of State.

It is a vote for a bleak and volatile future, one that I, voting now as a father for the first time, am terrified for my daughter to possibly have to face.

In the last three presidential elections, I at least had the comfort of believing that our liberal democracy would continue if my candidate did not win. I cannot say the same this time around. Trump is not just a threat to his political opponents, but a threat to the idea of America, something that the five former presidents still alive today appear to agree with as not one of them supports Donald.

Hillary Clinton enjoys the support of some voters who would otherwise vote for the Republican nominee if said nominee was not a racist buffoon. That said, I have heard of too many Republicans drawing a false equivalency between the two big party nominees. Many of these Republicans are abstaining or throwing their vote away on Gary Johnson, a man who, in this case, they know only one thing about: that he will not win. Johnson provides an out for these aforementioned Republicans so they can say that they voted but they did not vote for Trump or Hillary, while simultaneously pretending that by voting for Johnson they have disguised the fact that they prefer Trump over Hillary. This is disgusting and fools nobody.

The same can be said for Bernie supporters who have refused to support Hillary and have thrown their support to Johnson or Jill Stein.

If a voter was already in the Johnson or Stein camps before the primaries concluded, then good for them, but all the latecomers to these alternative candidates are putting this country at greater risk than I feel they are aware of. A vote this late in the game for Johnson or Stein, or an abstention, is a vote for Trump and all of his rabid base.

I began this post weeks ago, intent on writing a lengthier piece on why I think Clinton is the best choice for this country. But since I started, even worse revelations about Trump have come to light, specifically his bragging to Billy Bush about sexually abusing women. I have heard this talk defended by Trump, Trump surrogate Ben Carson, and many others as locker room talk, with Carson going as far as telling Neil Cavuto that he has heard much worse in locker rooms. I have also witnessed the rape talk defended on Facebook under the ridiculous guise of “he who is without sin cast the first stone.” No one is saying we have not sinned and we have all made mistakes, but is there no expectation of decency in our leaders? Are there no standards? During the last week of the campaign these have become rhetorical questions.

I am quite afraid of the Trump base if he loses next month, but my greater fear is of a Trump presidency. If there were any doubt about Trump’s respect for his opponents, or simply ideas not one-hundred percent in agreement with his, the last week has certainly shown Trump’s true colors as he has admonished his own party’s leaders and veterans, threatened his primary opponent with imprisonment, lambasted the entire media establishment (minus Hannity, I guess), and had to deny multiple allegations of sexual assault, while implying one woman was not even attractive enough for assault to have taken place.

As a human being I am disturbed by the way he speaks about other religions, races, and the opposite sex. But I am not just voting as a human being next month. I am voting as a believer, as a husband, and as a father to a little girl. All of these roles have further convinced me that the most important thing we can do in November is to make sure Donald Trump does not become our next president. To vote for Trump would be to abandon all of those roles and everything I have been raised to believe in. Lastly, a vote for this man would be to abandon my human decency. Thus, I have had a very difficult time not judging those who are still standing with Trump, who are still abstaining, or who are still supporting Johnson. Because unlike in previous elections, these people are supporting a man for presidency who would have been fired from McDonald’s by now for the things he has said. Yet, these people think it is okay to give this man the nuclear codes merely because they have loathed the Clintons for decades? Or because they just cannot support a Democrat?

Just swallow your pride for once and keep this country alive. Then, in four years, you can have another go, but if Trump wins, I am not sure America’s future lasts that long and that will be on you.

Gun Violence

So much gun violence out there and so few rational voices who are willing to admit there needs to be a change.

Here’s a link to one of those few:

“Why Gun Nuts Lie — I Know From Experience.” – by David Smalley