NG Tube

Double Takes and Long Stares

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On the day we left the NICU for good.

The day after London came home from the NICU we took her on a brief outing, a trip to Target. We were both quite scared. I had hand sanitizer in my pocket, in the diaper bag, and probably in the stroller. As most new parents move about, we were slow, paranoid about every baby carrying tool properly snapping into place, and just a little hesitant about our ability to accomplish an errand with London in tow.

I was scared most by the threat of germs. For over 100 days every single person who came to see London had washed their hands twice, even if they weren’t necessarily touching her. Taking her into a Target, where a nutter could potentially walk up to London and touch her foot freaked me out. Even the idea of her breathing the air in a Target sort of worried me. I know, that’s ridiculous, but that’s the stuff we thought about back then and we prepared for it.

What I did not prepare myself for were the looks we were going to get from people who glanced at our baby. To put it more accurately, the looks our baby would get, the long stares and the double and triple takes. When you take a baby out in public people are inclined to look at him or her. What they do not really expect to see are tender grip cheek stickers holding a nasal cannula in place and an NG tube, held down by an orange strip of tape and wrinkly patches of tegaderm, snaking its way across the baby’s face.

I can still see the first person inside Target who saw all that on London’s face. A nice looking man who was clearly caught off guard by all those sticky accessories. He did a double take and by his second look at London I could see it in his face, he did not have a clue what any of that stuff was. He could very well have thought London’s situation was more serious than it really was. A part of me wanted to stop everything and explain to him what every little tube and piece of tape was doing and that London was a very strong little girl who had been through more scary days than many people my age have endured.

But I could not take the time to tell that man about all that stuff and all those scary days. It would feel like we were back in the NICU explaining to visitors what all the machines around London were doing and why she needed them. It would be an exhaustive way to transition into a life at home with London. So, I just nodded and smiled at the man and kept on walking, his inquisitive stare following us around the store. I had then such an instantaneous and deep appreciation for parents whose kids will never shed their special medical tools and/or physical and mental challenges. We were, for the moment, living that.

But after 109 days in the NICU, I also knew that we had an insanely determined little baby on our hands and, with time, people were going to lean over the stroller and see nothing that might hint at this little girl’s history, enough to fill a book, and that is what has brought a smile to my face every double take since.

Not Fun, Placing an NG Tube

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Before our NICU discharge, Kate and I both learned how to insert a nas0-gastric (NG) tube into London. NG tubes are necessary when the baby cannot drink enough milk to thrive. When London was discharged, she was only nippling 25% of her daily volume. The rest was pumped through the NG tube.

We needed to learn how to place it because NG tubes can be easily pulled out by the baby. During her NICU stay, London pulled her tube out several times. So, we had seen it put back in place by the nurses. A nursing student did it one day while we were there watching. I would have been extremely nervous if I had been in her shoes with the parents hovering over me, but she did extremely well, threading the tube up one of London’s nostrils and down, down, down to the stomach.

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At home, with that darned tube snaking out of her and all that orange tape on her face.

When it was time for Kate to practice on London they both did pretty well. When the tube first reached London’s nostril Kate stopped because she was already crying. Nurse Megan and I comforted her and told her she could do this. Kate composed herself and went for it, making it look easy, even though inserting an NG tube in your baby is really one of the worst tasks you can have as a parent of a newborn.

I tried the next day and, again, things went pretty well. Of course, by the time I was finishing up with the tube, London was bawling her eyes out, but regardless of who does this to her and how they do it, by the end, London was always screaming. I suspect most babies respond this way. Luckily, London was always easy to calm down afterward.

The success we had placing the NG tube while London was in the NICU did not follow us home. You can nearly cover your baby’s face with tape trying to hold that NG tube in place and attempting to make it impossible for the baby to get a finger around it and pull, but eventually, that thing is coming out. The first time this happened to us it was already late at night. We were so disappointed we had to do this to London. We let her calm down as we readied a new NG tube, tape, and a little sugar water to distract London from the pain. Kate tried first and I held London down on the bed. Things seemed to be going okay until the tube was a couple inches in and it wasn’t going anywhere. London was awake and bearing down so the tube had nowhere to go. It is agonizing to be in this position. We didn’t know if the tube was going somewhere it wasn’t supposed to be going. We didn’t know if we should push with more force. Meanwhile, London sounded like someone was torturing her.

We regrouped before I tried to place the tube. No luck. Same thing happened. London was bearing down and the tube wasn’t going anywhere. We abandoned that attempt. I was distraught, grabbing a pillow and screaming into it because I just couldn’t stand inflicting that much pain on London, twice, and without any reward.

After an hour of talking about our alternatives (try again in the morning or text one of London’s night nurses to see if they can place the tube if we go to the NICU) we decided it would be best to just go to the NICU. London’s nurses had offered to do this before we left. If we had any problems, let them know, come on by, and they will put in the NG tube.

We arrived at midnight and Windy had set up a little operating room in the NICU’s conference room. She placed the tube like it was no big deal and I tried to pay very close attention to how it worked so well in order to avoid doing this again.

A week or two later, London had pulled the tube again. I tried to recall the night at the NICU and I watched a couple of how-to videos on YouTube. The keys to doing this properly, at least on a baby, seemed to be sleepiness and speed. Don’t try this when your baby is wide awake because they are able to quickly bear down and stop the NG tube from going in. Don’t be slow about it either. By the time your baby figures out what is going on, you want the tube to already be in their stomach or damn near close.

I volunteered for the mission. Kate held London’s arms. Then we paused. We said a little prayer over London, attempting to calm ourselves before we do this again, praying that it would not be a repeat of last time. We finished praying. We took some deep breaths and then I plunged the tip of that NG tube into one of London’s nostrils and it curved downward and kept tunneling its way right down to London’s stomach. What a huge relief it was for all three of us to have that done. In this case though, I think Kate and I were the most relieved. No trip to the NICU tonight, baby.

We did not have to place the NG tube again. A little over a week later we pulled the NG tube ourselves because London was due for a photo shoot. That day she took all her milk by bottle. She looked and still does look amazing without that tube coming out of her nose and all that tape on her face. When I look at pictures from the NG days, I cannot get over how crowded her face looks. We are so happy to have put that phase behind us.